Hi, this is Coach Lorri. I am starting this blog as a way for women to share their successes. My mission is to introduce you to successful, amazing women and their path to greatness.
I am asking women to share their story and particularly what barriers were overcome to become successful. I am frustrated by how many so-called success stories I read which gloss over the challenges. It can make the reader feel like they don’t have what it takes to be as successful.
So this blog is about real women and their path to discovering their inner brilliance and then letting it dazzle the world !
I will also provide coaching tips to help you learn how to create and live YOUR dazzling life!
Coach Lorri (Molinari)
Keynote Speaker…..Workshop Leader…..Dazzling Life Co-Creator
New Beginning Life Coach Services
303-680-0700
www.newbeginninglifecoach.com
Lorri@newbeginninglifecoach.com
Coach Lorri helps women who have coated their lives with layers of dullness, murkiness, and grime (created by sabotaging behaviors) to rediscover and then LIVE a dazzling life! If you wake up each morning and ask yourself, “How did I get HERE??!” please visit her website to learn more about her services and coaching tools to answer the question, “HOW do I shed those layers to rediscover my brilliance?”
November 5, 2007 at 6:08 pm
Love your Blog!
It’s wicked cool!
November 6, 2007 at 2:23 pm
HI Carol,
Thank you for your feedback. Please share the blog with your friends.
If you know of an amazing woman who is creating a dazzling life, please ask her to tell us her story.
Have a dazzling day!
Coach Lorri
November 20, 2007 at 12:53 pm
Good morning,
I just finished reading the October issue of INC. Magazine. There is a great article by Kim Kleeman about how she has created balance in her life. Please take a few moments to read this and ask yourself the following questions:
1) What action steps did she take to create a more balanced life?
2) What can *I* do to get into action and create more balance?
http://www.inc.com/magazine/20071001/the-way-i-work-kim-kleeman.html
Have a dazzling day!
Coach Lorri
January 3, 2008 at 8:55 pm
Lorri,
In reading the blog I am inspired to tell about my experience of taking responsibility for my life, getting support and the shifts and changes that have ocurred. This Christmas was an experience that embodies most of what I have learned and live now. My Dad recently died and I had worried that old behavior would emerge as a result of grieving his loss, making other people wrong, acting out, and isolating. Indeed, after many of our coaching sessions and discussing the old ways and incorporating the new, the plan of how I want to “be” dominated the season. I made an ornament for Dad and despite how minor that seems, it was a way to express the grieve rather than “putting on a smiling face” and pretending. I talked to visitors about the ornament and laughed and remembered and felt fortunate. That way of being is new and it allowed me to then be fully engaged with my family and friends in several loving settings of laughing, sharing meals and events and letting the rest of my family handle their grief in their own way. I even was able to participate in a family event with a portion of the family that has been difficult to interact with. What a wonderful Christmas….no blaming, no isolating. After our 2.5 years of focusing on how I want to be, I understand Ghandi’s request “Be the change you wish to see in the World”. The small things like watching my words, examining why things did seem to go smoothly, understanding the learning from challenging situations is a gift, and letting others help me have created this whole new way of seeing the world. I had thought I was too old (56) to incorporate new ways and reap the benefits, I have found that I can and the world is big and the serendipity of experiences abound. Am very grateful and ready to see even more!
January 6, 2008 at 5:28 pm
A Year Worth Celebrating!
If anyone were to have asked me one year ago if I could have accomplished all that I have this past year, I would have laughed out loud. I would have never imagined that I could accomplish so much in such a short amount of time. And that is on top of my day job and all of the traveling that it entails.
My life has changed in so many positive ways over the last year. My friends have seen, first hand, the changes in me and in my life since I’ve added extra focus and attention to myself and my life dreams and goals.
Getting Started
Less than a year ago I met Coach Lorri while she was presenting her Negative Self-Talk seminar for a women’s group at my work.
After our first meeting I realized I needed to really focus on what I want out of life. She sent me away with a strange assignment to complete before our next session – write out my own obituary. I was to write it as if I had accomplished everything, visited everywhere, touched all the lives I wanted to touch and learned all that I wanted to learn before I pass away. It was an interesting request and something no one really wants to think about. It took me awhile to get the thoughts flowing, but I ended up with 2 pages of accomplishments.
We talked about all the things I had done to date, and then really focused on what I had left yet to accomplish in my life before I pass away from this Earth. We talked about 7 different areas of focus (Relationships, Financial, Career, Spiritual, Intellectual, Health and Fitness, and Leisure/Fun) and during this session I wrote out both my short and long term goals for each area.
Paris, France
One of my favorite things is travel and I have always dreamed of going to Paris, France. I love the French language and wish I would have studied it in high school instead of the more practical Spanish my parents had encouraged me to take. I always had several excuses for not planning the trip to France. The more practical reasons were not enough time off of work and money. However, the real reason I had put off the trip was because in my romantic mind I was waiting for the perfect man to take me.
Being divorced for 7 years and having just come out of another failed dating relationship, I was single and ready for a life change as I was nearing my 38th birthday. I decided to take my life into my own hands and plan this long awaited trip to Paris for myself. We started small with the planning and Coach Lorri gave me several homework items each week:
*checking my flight mileage balance to see if I had enough to cash in
*asking for 2 weeks off at work
*create a budget and savings plan.
She even helped me find a French school abroad so I could take some French lessons while I was over in France.
These homework assignments helped me to get into action so I could feel progress and success.
I started truly focusing on my goals in February of 2007 and by the middle of May I was boarding my free United, round trip, First Class flight to Paris! I stayed for the first 5 days with a host family as part of a French Immersion program – It means you study French during the day and then at night you eat an authentic French dinner with your host family and practice what you learned that day in class. The last 5 days I spent by myself at hotels around the city and toured every Paris museum, tourist attraction and French restaurant I has always wanted to see and experience.
I met wonderful friends in my school and formed a special bond with my host family during this trip, however my most special take-away from this trip was an inner confidence that I found within myself that I had always known was there, but had never let come to the surface. My eyes are welling up as I write this because of how proud I am of myself for achieving this goal in my life.
My trip to Paris was the most memorable vacation I have ever taken and I am already planning my return visit this year to the south of France to study at the same school – but this time on the French Riviera with a special French Cuisine class added to the curriculum!
I was so impressed that this life long goal was achieved in such a short few months with the right amount of attention and focus, and it was such an overwhelmingly positive experience that I was ready to tackle more! I was ready to make more positive improvements in my life. I really believed they could happen – sooner, rather than later.
My Perfect Partner
One of my other focus areas is around relationships. After one failed 10-year marriage back in 2000 and several failed dating relationships since my divorce, I was struggling to understand how to find the right person as a partner.
During my trip I worked on another homework assignment – to think about what I really want in a romantic partner and get crystal clear about what he looks like, his values, where he is from, what he does for a living, what types of friends and family he has, what our relationship would be like, etc. Getting crystal clear about what this person is to be like was my assignment before I got home.
So I spent some time on my return flight writing out what “my” perfect man/relationship would look like so I would know it when I saw it. Then I could set it aside and let the Universe do its magic in bringing me to the right person and helping me recognize it when I see him.
I was so excited to get back and share my travel experiences with my friends and family that I was not looking to meet anyone. However, about 3 weeks after my trip I was out with some girl friends in an area of town I never knew existed, and met a wonderful man that closely matches my written description. We immediately hit it off, have so much in common and have been happily dating for over 6 months now.
Jeremy is laid back and easy going and a perfect balance to my high energy nature. He calms me down and is a great friend and partner for me.
It is the best relationship I have had in quite some time and am sure that it is in part due to me getting clear and writing out exactly what I wanted to find in a partner and being ready to actually find him.
I am doing things differently this time than in my previous relationships. I am sharing myself and everything that entails, rather than holding parts of myself back and revealing only parts of me. I am taking things day by day and remaining true to myself and encouraging Jeremy to do the same so we can build a genuine, strong, lasting and healthy relationship together.
Successful Real Estate Investor
That leads me to my third and most amazing achievement in 2007. I have always been interested in real estate investment, reading books on the subject, watching fix and flip TV shows and reading decorating magazines since I was in high school. I even went to school for interior design, but wound up in the Consumer Packaged Goods industry for my career. Every time I relocated for my job (I moved 8 times in 14 years) I would get my interior decorating “fix” by decorating my new house and pretending I was the next “Design Star”!
I have had a goal of buying an investment property within the next 3-5 years. I have no idea where that timeline came from, but I guess I figured it was far enough out that I had enough time to save money and get my act together enough to figure out how to make that goal happen. Perhaps it was also far enough out that I didn’t have to start doing anything today!
Lorri and I began to work on this dream goal. It was most certainly a financial goal to be able to save enough money for a down payment, but it is also an area of career interest for me down the road – to become a successful real estate investor! I see people making money in this line of work everyday, and I am confident I am smart enough to make this work, but I was confused and scared about how on earth to get started.
So I followed my coach’s consistent tool: get into action. I had weekly action steps to become more educated on the subject, more books to read, websites to research, people to meet to gather local contacts and hear other success stories.
It took months and months of learning before I overcame the fear and anxiety I was feeling when we would meet to talk about it. I was literally having trouble breathing during some of our sessions because I was so uncomfortable and scared to take the plunge and buy an investment property.
I created a budget, cut back on my spending, and said “No thank you” to a lot to invitations to go out to dinner with friends. I cooked at home, brought my lunch to work, made coffee at home each morning instead of stopping at Starbucks, stayed out of the malls and checked my budget every day or two and recorded each and every one of my receipts so I knew where else I could cut back.
I got up early on Saturday mornings and drove to the suburbs to meet with people Lorri suggested or introduced me to. I would buy them coffee and take notes on how they were able to make their first investment. I offered to volunteer my time to help them with their business in exchange for me to learn from them and hopefully avoid mistakes along the way.
I read the books, studied the websites, talked to more people then got serious and contacted a mortgage broker to get pre-approved for a second mortgage. That’s when reality set in when I found out how much I could afford on top of my current mortgage. I was discouraged and frustrated because I was doing everything I knew how and spending so much time, effort and energy to make this happen and the finances were not working in my favor.
It took a few more weeks before I got my spirits back to try again and think of other solutions on how to make my dream of real estate investment a reality. Where else could I get more money? A second job? Sell my first home and get a smaller one? These were two ideas I was not willing to do.
However, the one major sacrifice I did eventually make was to sell my dream car. I broke down and sold my beautiful 1999 Saab convertible. This had been my garaged baby for several years and I always looked forward to driving it on sunny days in the mountains.
It took me 3-4 months to get my head in the right place to let it go. In fact all summer I listed it on Craig’s list for an unrealistic amount – hoping that if someone were willing to pay that price I would have to let it go. No one did.
I eventually had to make the mental and financial realization that letting the dream car go would help me obtain a bigger dream that hopefully down the line will mean more to me than just a car.
In early October I sold my Saab to a wonderful couple who I know will take excellent care of the car. I am sure they will enjoy it as much as I did!
With the extra cash in my savings account, I then refinanced my first home and took out a home equity line of credit. These things, along with the money I saved from sticking to my budget and cutting back I finally had enough cash to get more serious about buying an investment property.
Then another set back happened. I had planned to partner with friends to purchase my first investment property. They changed their minds! I was really disappointed and not sure how I could do this on my own. I was frustrated that I had spent so much time and energy in order to make this work and now would need twice as much money in order to do it alone. Although there were no hard feelings towards my friends, I was really devastated for a couple of days that this was yet another delay or set back.
However, after seeing my disappointment and unhappiness, and also recognizing a good business idea, my wonderful boyfriend Jeremy stepped up to partner with me on this investment property. We met with the mortgage broker and got pre-qualified together and then immediately started to house hunt together. Within a few short weeks we found a town home in Summit County, Colorado and we made an offer. A few days later we had a signed contract. One month later we were the proud new owners of our first home together. We spent a week up there cleaning and redecorating and about one week later we had it rented for the Thanksgiving holiday week!
We have met with a CPA and an attorney to get the business papers filed and the corporation up and running for the beginning of 2008. We have a newly created website and our place listed in several different online vacation rental areas.
So far we are having excellent success with our rental and are planning for more success in 2008!
Biggest Learning
If you want to climb a mountain alone, it is going to be cold and scary and no one will be there if you take a wrong step or fall. Having a life coach nearby to help you along the way is the best gift you could give yourself. He or she can’t climb the mountain for you, but they can be there by your side to see you through it.
Getting a clear path and focusing on the long term goals was the first step. Then creating a success action plan of small steps to take was how I stayed o my path – even when it was scary!
There were days during this past year – when I was planning to travel abroad by myself or when I was crunching numbers trying to decide how I could afford my first investment property – when I was so scared and had so much anxiety that I couldn’t even breathe. With Lorri’s help I now have tools to help me sort out the fear and find ways to manage it so I could use the nervous energy toward something positive.
I am confident that I would not have pushed myself that hard or that far on my own. I also learned that the fear doesn’t mean I am doing something wrong, it just means that I am doing something different that what I have done in the past. That is where you grow as a person. I am smarter, more confident and certainly braver than I thought I could be in such a short amount of time.
I can’t wait to get started and see what new mountains full of adventure and challenges that I will face and successfully climb during 2008!
January 23, 2008 at 3:29 pm
When I met Lorri last year, I felt much like I was on a treadmill – constantly. I was working and working very hard to be “successful,” yet I couldn’t define the success I was working toward. I think I had been living life as a tumble weed. Somehow, I found myself in a life that was unrecognizable to me- I wasn’t sure who I really was anymore, much less what I liked or really wanted in life. I felt like I was numb.
Then I began working with Lorri. She helped to wake me up, to see again. I learned that I needed to stop and figure out who I was, really take a look at who I had become- this adult who was trying so hard to achieve what I thought I was supposed to do – for society, for my husband, for my parents, for my clients. I had been working so hard and working so much for years that I forgot to check in with myself and ask what Rita wanted. I somehow grew into a place that didn’t allow me to do what I really wanted. I lived in that place for so long that I had to relearn and teach myself that is ok, not greedy or selfish, to like the work I do, to enjoy myself, to nurture myself and to have fun.
When Lorri first introduced the prospect of having fun, enjoying your life and experiencing abundance- I thought, she must be kidding… Success requires no fun, lots of hard work and being serious. But I am glad to report I was wrong. I continue to absorb, learn and experience, that life can be fun, exciting, rich, full, abundant- anything you want- if you just stop and listen to yourself. Allow yourself to savor life. Allow yourself to live life with both of your eyes wide open. Allow YOUR SELF to be authentic and flow.
It has not been easy this past year. I had to learn new things about myself. How I spoke to myself. The things I said to myself over the years needed to be carefully evaluated and judged- so I could change that old programming. I learned to recognize what I was saying- not always the obvious superficial self-talk- but sometimes the deeply familiar self talk that I was so comfortable with that I didn’t even realize it was constantly sabotaging me.
There were some things I didn’t want to look at, much less delve into and explore… but each new homework assignment or meeting helped me to learn more. The bad, boring, ugly, sad, hard work or serious life has now turned into OPPORTUNITIES to CHOOSE- how I want to react, what I want to say, and where I want to go. CHOICES. That is the most profound lesson I have learned. I shall never again wake up and say, “How did I end up here?” I know, from here forward, I will choose where I want to go, who I want to be with, what I really, really, really want in life- and I shall head in that direction.
I am excited about the fun, adventurous and beautiful moments I will continue to discover in this dazzling life of mine!